Grimey threatened to blindside me with Dale Murphy stories if I didn't update my website to coincide with his latest loljocks entry (shameless), so I decided to throw a little something together, i.e. I am totally ripping off other site's great ideas and reshaping it like Demi Moore's breasts. Firm, yet supple.

I now present the 7 best Philadelphia sports teams uniforms, as well as the 6 worst. I am not counting one off deals like that yellow and blue pile of turd that retarted carpetbagger Lurie dropped on the city...

Best of all times ("all time" being my lifetime, patent pending):

1) Mid-80's Phillies: The maroon and powders. Goddamn they were beautiful. Tight n' right, like my boy Steve Jeltz.

2) 1980's Sixers: A once proud tradition has been tossed aside like a carrot in the salad of corporate shittiness.

3) Late 80's Temple Owls basketball: Mark Macon was the man. 

4) Earlier Flyers: My teeth ache for the days of black stripe-less sweaters. Although this aint bad.

5) Late 70's Eagles: Your football uniforms are shit unless you have at least 9, no 10 stripes on the sleeve. Feel it.

6) Late 80's Eagles: Your football uniforms are shit unless you have no stripes on the sleeve, but instead an Eagle. Fly, America, Fly.

7) Every year Penn State: Not really Philly, but sorta close. And classic. Go Gators.

And the Worst:

1) Any year Black Eagles jerseys: A fucking atrocity. The Eagles are green and silver. Nothing else. Maybe a little white. The worst thing to come out of the 90's besides the general culture was the incessant need for sports teams to incorporate black into their uniforms. And for some god awful reason it continues to stick around. And if you dont think I had about 12 Big Johnson t-shirts by 1994 you're fooling yourself.

2) Early 90's Sixers: Jeff Hornacek, Tim Perry and Andrew Lang. I will always remember where I was when I first heard those names.

3) Late 90's to present Sixers: Pick a color. Any color. Nothing says "American Revolution" like black, white, red, gold, blue, and cable wires.

4) Any Temple uniform with this logo: Angry cartoon mascots. Another 90's holdover that needs to die. 

5) 1993 to present Phillies: Those uniforms gave me this, but I still feel blindsided by the sudden change. 

6) Mid 90's Eagles: I'm sort of ambivilent towards the "newer" Eagles uniforms (except the black), but for some reason I really hate the look circa 1997.